A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY WORKSHEET is a short, sweet tool to help you see how dysfunctional family roles can be ruining your relationship. I’m going to share some of the things that cause most couples trouble and hopefully a good amount of you will take what I say to heart and use it to make better decisions. I think most relationships would be much happier if couples could just sit down and talk about their problems.
First off, lets look at some dysfunctions in relationships. One of the most common problems is unrealistic expectations. When you set a standard for someone else and try to meet it, this creates a feeling of failure or inadequacy. You feel that they don’t have enough experience or the experience they do have doesn’t match up to your expectations. This is why most marriages end in divorce; each partner has unrealistic expectations for the other.
Another common problem is power struggles. Many couples are struggling with whether or not they should delegate authority or whether it should all be on them. This creates pressure for one person to exert too much control in the relationship. There is also the question of whether or not authority should be given to either spouse or should it be given to both spouses equally.
Not only is it a bad idea to give too much authority to one person, but giving too much authority to one person can create more problems. If one spouse feels like their authority is being challenged or used against them, they will quickly become defensive. They may try to keep control by being overly controlling. If you are in this position you need to stop and realize that you need to stop giving away authority.
I’ve also seen many couples argue about sex before marriage. This happens all the time. Either one person won’t let go of the notion that they should be in control all the time and it starts an argument about who gets to control the sex. It’s just too embarrassing for them to engage in lovemaking after they are married. You need to realize that this is unhealthy and it’s a sure way to destroy your relationship.
Lastly, let’s talk about a dysfunctional relationship that is less obvious and can be harder to change. One of the most common forms of abuse is neglect. This happens when one spouse doesn’t pay attention to the needs of the other and stops supporting them completely. The spouse that is neglecting will often ignore this from happening. This creates a huge lack of intimacy that leaves both partners frustrated and unhappy.
The following is a DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY ROLES worksheet to help you identify dysfunctional family roles and deal with them. I strongly recommend that you print out and take to your spouse’s house and have them read over and work on. Keep it handy so that you don’t forget any information. The less you keep forgetting, the more likely you are to keep this to yourself and fix your relationship.
If you use this, I know you’ll find that it will help you identify dysfunctional family roles and they way you treat your spouse will change. I hope you will take my advice and use it to begin your own journey of discovery.