In my first couple of articles on sex-linked traits, I discussed how some parents exaggerate sexual behavior problems in children, while others do not. The point I wanted to make was that there is no right or wrong way to handle this issue and it depends on each child. The greatest part of all, for a child with a sexual issue, is that they will more than likely be able to deal with the situation more effectively than their peers who are struggling with similar issues.
There is no exact cure for sexually problematic children and sex-linked traits are not the same as sexual behavior problems. They are two separate situations that often confuse parents and therapists alike.
The great issue is that some parents and counselors are more concerned about establishing guilt and shame on the child than the sexual problem itself. Many will turn to guilt-based behavior modification and treatment instead of teaching the child how to properly cope with the issue.
I am often surprised by how many parents will focus on behaviors and not sexual issues in their children. While it may be true that children who engage in inappropriate behavior are not likely to have a sexual issue, in my opinion, it is much more important to focus on teaching a child to deal with the behaviors that cause the problem rather than how to deal with a problem with the genitals.
The truth is that most behavior programs are not successful if they teach the child to hide their sexuality and not discuss issues with their peers. This is because the child will not know the appropriate approach to talk about what is bothering them.
For example, if a child has an issue with intimacy, they may be afraid to ask their parents or peers what their problem is. If they try to talk to their parents about intimacy issues, they will often end up admitting that they cannot keep their partners satisfied, or that they don’t enjoy intimacy.
Unfortunately, behavior programs are ineffective if they do not include sex-linked traits as a major part of the program. I think the reason why many parents do not include this information is that the issue they are addressing is often seen as too private and taboo for the child to discuss.